Mama I is Edumacated!

I saw a book list on another blog an figured I would be a lazy ass copy cat and make my own list of books I need to read. I have to put that literature degree to some sort of use and if this shitty blog is that use, so be it. I'm OK with that. I really just added the lit major on because I wasn't ready to graduate and figured "hell, why not? Reading The Canterbury Tales in it's original Middle English sounds like a hoot!".

Keeping in the theme of thievery I was going to steal a list of recommendations from the Museum, Libraries and Archives Council, http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,1721526,00.htmlbut that list sucks. Who the hell becomes a librarian anyway? I'll tell you- anal people who get off following the Dewey Decimal System- that's who. I loathe the Dewey System with all it's decimals and order and what-not. So fuck that list. Who cares what Librarians think I should read?

So I continued my search for a decent list. You should know, I'm a Virgo and as disorganized as I am for a Virgo I really adore a purty list. Do you think I could find a damn list out there I like? Nope. If I told you what I have read it would just be a half-assed attempt at trying to be impressive and really, who the hell cares how well read I am? So instead let me tell you why I am not reading some of the books on this, the mega list of must reads:

http://www.randomhouse.com/modernlibrary/100bestnovels.html

The board's list:

Ulysses- Number 1 must read? Did some sadistic pent-up, mother-fucker of a college prof make this list? I managed to get a degree in Lit never ONCE opening this book and I don't plan to open it now. I pride myself on the fact that I never wasted hours of my life reading 1000 pages of this shit. I suffered through a forced reading of "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" and I wanted to slit my wrists through most of it.


The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man- Oh fuck me sideways, didn't we just go over this one? I'm guessing Finnigans Wake is making it on this shit-ass list later on too. Thank God Joyce was too drunk to write much more then that.

The Great Gatsby- Zzzzzz...oh huh? I slept through lectures on this drivel in college. I read a few pages, what I needed to and no more. Love Triangles, scorn the immoral rich blah blah blah. Next.

I, Claudius- People read that on purpose? I thought it was just one of those books you had on your shelf to look impressive. I will say this- my girlfriend made me watch the BBC DVD and what I was awake for was scandalous and not so bad.

Women in Love, Tropic of Cancer- This list WAS made by pent-up college profs too ashamed to admit they actually read Playboy.

The reader's list:

Ayn Rand?? L. Ron Hubbard? That is who dominates the top 10 of this list?

Can't read further...